Rush Limbaugh (never a dull moment)

“You need to start advertising your own block as being autonomous and then you can get your own police force to ensure the peace is kept and the minorities are kept in check around your block. That way, you will be able to tax them even though they get second-rate treatment since they’ll be considered temporary citizens on your block. The ephemeral nature of it all means you can change any rules regarding ‘visitors’ to your block at will. This will deepen the bounds of your pockets and money will flow into it. Do some charity work and you can just let the mortgages pay themselves off. Find a fine bottle of 30 year old Laphroaig and sit in front of your tenement haranguing away about the good, honest natured Ron Paul. He will save you from monotony, to be sure.”

“You aren’t even registered to vote and you just had a seitan sandwich, which you paid over $7 for. Can you eat a brick of shit now or should I just start throwing old moldy bread at you now?”

“You should try reading the other times….I mean the Washington Times.”

“You should get a VD from a prostitute. Oh wait….you’re gonna represent a microcosm of the Republican Party, so yeah, you’ll have plenty of time for that.

Suffering from bouts of Asperger’s, the pseudo-neo-conservative trustee merely leaves the room and starts listening to Steve Vai in the confines of his studio apartment in the “bad” section of some small city in Connecticut. For about 2 weeks he would live on a steady regiment of cigarettes and black coffee before ending his fortnight binge, once his palpitations matched his ubiquitous nausea.

Fido Dido's weird Reaction to 2girls1cup.com video

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Two Worst websites ever

click here to see.
click here to see.

I RESPECT WHORES

troll: its hard trying to balance networking and being a hermit.
husk: a hermit doesn't get laid
troll: he masterbates!
husk: although a hermit might lay a dead whore
troll: or fuck and then eat roadkill
husk: while screaming out "Mickey Mouse Club!!! Mickey Mouse Club!!!"
husk: I've got nothing against prostitutes
husk: by the way
husk: I just really hate sluts
troll: i agree
troll: atleast prostitutes are gettin payed
husk: but I don't consider a prostitute to be a slut per say, you know? that's business
husk: yes

the door that came [part 11]

SEASON 2 PREMIERE | Previously on THE DOOR THE CAME : Where twelve is three, what is nine? Why nine? Why not! / when choices were upon you and you chose to not-choose and chose / that made me want to have intercourse with girls I wouldn't normally find attractive / There were alluring calculations on the third attempt / The driving witnesses would love to stay and watch but they have seldom enough time left to choose a new path and avoid further peril. I can't blame them! / We were given a chance to name the waiting room as we went in; we agreed on "BLAND,THE" / When asked, Ty added: "wind that blows in many ways" in response to passing a door (early 90s quote from a faux-poet and his homosexual furniture) / nowadays the kids all have guns... with Bluetooth capabilities / Failure's just another token in the machine. To which state have you been elevated to now that you've learned the truth (B.Nein)? The flow may be eroding the riverbed. | ??!? | ELEVATORS | Pac-man represented the complete mass-market consumption trend of the late 70s, a cornerstone to the coming decade, just as elevators won't allow you access to the 13th floor, should there be one. It is an optimistic tangent shown therein with the decision to move upwards. A firm behind is an incentive for penetration, should there be access. A roman decor greets me as I enter the second floor yet I can't help but wonder what would've been had I gone to the paths below. Paths intertwine and nothing/all will be shown in time, should I ever wonder.

VAGUE ARBO | 2007 | TOP 5

TENNIS > HOMOSEXUALITY > OASIS > JENGA

CONNECT FOUR > MENSTRUAL CYCLE > BLOSSOM > DIGIMON

PEPSI > XEROX > CHRIS BENOIT > AQUAFRESH

JAPAN > NEONS > VIRTUA FIGHTER > KETAMINE

JOHN DENVER > LEAVING ON A JET PLANE > ...

週間以内に発送します//フィードバック

質問や意 見 を交換しましょう 新 しいトピックを作 成するトピックのタイトルカタログ 情報を更新する またはイメージに 対するお問い合わせ

THIS JUST IN...

9/1...err the beauty pageant was an inside job!!

and can

husk: do you think that with
husk: not what I meant?
troll: wtf did you just say?
husk: lol no no
husk: not what I would
husk: at least
husk: but I mean, if you could?
troll: man, im lost
husk: fuck @#$%
husk: seriously, I would've laughed
husk: come on, let me be evil
troll: you are enjoying this
husk: and can

infosthetics

honestly, i don't know why i didn't notice this sooner, or tell anyone about this sooner.

http://infosthetics.com/

GIANT SNOW FLUFFERS

The peaceful white snow -- the artist in me saw a huge blank nature canvas.

HIGH SOCIETY

PM DAWN > ZALINSKI >  NEO-PETS > AFTERBIRTH

COUGARS > ZZ TOP > FEBREEZE

AGATHA CHRISTIE > TIN TIN > THUNDERCATS > TIM ALLEN

MONOPOLY >  POPULOUS >  BONDAGE > RITZ

go to helvetica

finally, a star wars equivalent movie for descendo.

"i felt that DESPITE the ad" (Page Vajaky)

from inside the bottle of rum, i hear a little voice, and it whispers to me, "get it right....i am NOT a gay Johnny Weissmuller..."


dementia developed

more ruminations from "Cantina Lorna."

Three women run through across a dirt road during a freak storm. The mud slops up onto their clothing. Their anticipated yells of calamitous injustice upon them reach the ears of a lonely pair of urchins.

Oh please, you are NOT using that clichéd word again, are you?

(pause for two seconds) It’s set in the correct time period.

Get a towel to wipe my apologetic tears. I don’t care. Use something else.

…The URCHINS HEAR THE LADIES! TH….. They cringe at the sight of muddied clothing, as peeping through low brush reveals the unfortunate scene. Ok, I should change that. (sputtering)

Well, you should change a lot more. I’m going to get some more coffee and have a piss. Make sure you include the bit about the glue huffing, or maybe ass in the shit-bag huffing.

Oh c’mon. First of all, no. Second of all, the “shit-bag huffing” as you call it is just something the modern Internet community has picked up on with moist little hands, and it’s nothing more than Geraldo crap anyways. And third of all, this isn’t a stupid little poor attempt at a H. S. Thompson parody. Go watch Kids if you want.

(intangible whispers)

….and for the record, I didn’t really like Kids the second time anyways.

Oh please gimme a break! (interrupts) You practically creamed yourself over Kids. You said it had big foreshadowings of where the industry was headed! AS IF you could prevent yourself form being ENAMORED!

Ok Ok! Shut….the fuck up, geez. (placating)

( Sighs) Just go get more coffee. Pick me one up, too?

Oh, so now I should get up to pick you up one up, too, now should I?

I am gaseous today.

RRRRRRRRIIIIIGGHT! That is my cue

(Eighteen scored seconds pass. Freighters load embezzled money in Bayonne moments after killing four seagulls via smash n bash technique. A demented old lady gets struck on the right foot by a wayward skateboard in Dyker Heights. A muscle-man receives enough radiation exposure to make his chances of skin cancer 30% higher within the next ten years in Santa Monica. A 24-year old man gets arrested for trafficking marijuana just over the California/Utah border. The Northwest Passage opens up. More college kids turn to Odin worship.)

Hey, what ever happened to Craig? Didn’t he move out to Eureka to start a hemp farm? And as a follow-up, should we visit him?

Ah, Craig was full of shit most of the time. He probably is bum that hitchhikes around Humboldt County with little ambition of ever finding something steady. The “hemp farm” was probably just a ploy to get you to stop asking questions.

I don’t think so. I think he is more of the type that would have some good intention to start something, “Start Today, straight ahead, hey let’s get up n go” type of attitude.

Like the Beach Boys!

A-ha…..of course, like the Beach….Boys. yes…well, uh….so. He probably fell of the high road and got into fiending off other people with the prospect of something like a hemp farm creeping in the conversation in order to seduce the person he’s just met into helping him out. He’s a good intentioned manipulator.

And you my dear Josef Breuer are the most convincing Freud groupie I’ve encountered yet. I need to finish this.

Fine with me. I guess I’ll just take this automated stenographer elsewhere.

Oh c’mon Stanley……STANLEY!

A.M. GAY

joe bloggz: you know how i know you're gay?
husk: here goes
joe bloggz: You've read the book, seen the movie, and done the musical.
husk: isn't it kind of cool if i actually DID the musical?
husk: instead of just watching it?
joe bloggz: and you have suntan lotion at every concievable SPF level
husk: that is a complete lie
joe bloggz: your pets always have great names.
joe bloggz: is it not true
joe bloggz: face it.
joe bloggz: youre a homo.
husk: we're all a bit homo
joe bloggz: were not all hands down our niece and nephews favorite uncle, tho
joe bloggz: fag.
joe bloggz: brb, need coffee
husk: no prob

reJECTIONS OF BEER : 03

From BEER (08-07), unfinished-draft posted without permission:

I found a hatchet sitting on the backside of the plaster ceiling in my bathroom today. I was up there and in there to repair a pipe in the neighbors floor. One man's ceiling....another mans floor and, in this case, apparently, also his hatchet stash point. I used to keep mine in a nylon stuffsack covered with soot. I'm going to reconsider my stash for the hatchet, keeping it under the floor is just so fucking Edgar Allen Poey. So damn, you know, hatchet in the handbag and the hairy armed hitchhiker-ish.

NPR was playing and after listening to THAT for an entire day I was not in a good space. I jumped down off the ladder, re-tuned to straight up crap and tossed the radio into the bathtub, electrocuting my washcloth. It didn't put up to much of a fight. It stunk in life and it stunk at dying. Besides, today, when I got out of my car there was a cable guy being escorted out of our building by a resident. The resident was happy and the cable guy noticed a lady across the street walking a little white dog. The cable fellow, a tall black man, asked the lady, "Is that a Maltese?" The lady said that it was and then the cable dude asked if it was a male or a female. The lady said it was a girl. The cable guy replied, "I had a boy and a girl maltese and the girl maltese died, I still shake my head and I cry, I miss her every day."

· · · now you understand fi⁄‚

There can be no further debate and we all agree.

Pizza-ghetti

I hate it when i order a pizza-ghetti and what i get is a slice of spaghetti with pizza on top.

lol u ghey

was watching the food network. not on hd cause they don't offer it on hd on cox cable. but they do have it on hd for some other people on some other networks. the fuck is that? wonder what giada's recipe for butt nut is. she's EYE-TAL-YUMM-O (for you rachel gay fans)


lol. aint getting married this week. cuz u gheey

NAKED WITH A TIE

Strut with white on white / leave some accessories on.

FETISH FOREST

AVAST YE A TERRIBLE SIGHT
SOMETIMES THINGS PASS
TRY THOUGH I MIGHT
TO SLIP IT IN YOUR ASS
COVERING THOU WITHIN
PLASTIC BUBBLE WRAP
PATIENCE WEARING THIN
AFTERMATH OF MUCH CRAP

Coffee

Theres a big monkey in my coffee. My mistake, it's an ape.

SO MUCH FUN CAN'T BELIEVE IT THEY'RE CRAZY AND INTERRACIAL/GENDER PURISTS

husk: i wanna do my own PRINGLES commercial
husk: you know, gang of us making music with cans outside in a park
husk: everyone laughing
husk: someone's breakdancing
husk: we're all cool and sunny
husk: but our high goes too far
troll: atlas is breakdancing
husk: and someone starts fucking a Pringles can
troll: it has to be atlas
troll: rom catwalk
husk: i know man
husk: sadly, i do
troll: yeah.

Landscaping

Troll: ''Grasscutters piss me off. They always try to make us believe they are landscapers.''

**edit** Troll:''You cut grass, that's it, you fucker!''

Kill the phone

"Notably, the lack of 'corporate email support' was pinpointed as the main reason that many BlackBerry users didn't make the leap, but it did praise the iPhone for helping to 'bridge the gap between consumer-focused feature phones and productivity-focused smartphones.'"

"I've increased my productivity 20% just by ignoring you."

The green power ranger

troll: remember the green ranger in the power rangers?
husk: no
husk: wait
husk: was he like .. .not part of the direct group or something?
troll: anyways, he's starting his mixed martial art debut.
husk: so he really is gay
troll: right
husk: you know, they were called THE POWER RANGERS
husk: what were they ranging?
husk: and it started that trend of fucking awful Ultiman knockoffs
husk: taking the JAP footage and adding in 90210 wannabes
husk: never understood why that killed the TMNT
husk: Fuck The Power Rangers
husk: seriously
troll: yeah they sucked
husk: nice elaboration there
troll: none needed

KRAID

s o m e - 1   s e t - u p u s - t h e   B 0 M B 1 1 | the fake Kraid

*** : lots of things can cause that...
*** : dirty fingers, dirty penis, constipation, dry fucking, lack of lub...
husk: ok ok
husk: too early

26 VS. THIRTYSOMETHING

In all things probable -- the calculatable, the coincidental, the countable, the planable -- I see no relation to Month Days and the Alphabet. What are the numbered letters for 27, 28, 29, 30 & 31?

an arab eloping with a jew of 40 in Montana

"maybe when i have very little to do.....i am constantly ennui-ridden and useless."

"Well lingering on an internet chatroom overly much certainly won't help."

"nor is reflecting on lugubrious memories. this is not bad, you see. it rolls and i am nothing worth-while."

Questions:
{"Genuine self-loathing or feeling that every human being is intrinsically useless?"

"pretending to have a dismal life?"

"innate humor in all suffering?"}

"what blasé terms, for what odes were written about."

"All I know is that we easily turn on our gods, both the lesser and greater."

"i don't look at it so much as 'turning' on them. it's more of an ephemeral adoption of some morals at appropriate times in life, yet you can abandon them until a later time calls for them."

"that signifies that you are not respectful toward that deity's cleverness."

"why should i be "loyal" to any one deity? they are all inventions of man anyways"

"i do not see it as an invention of humanity. it is something beyond humanity's intellect, to decipher."

"but we perceived it, so it must be of our own devices that it exists."

"well, i am stunned that you think anyone truly perceived their deity. no matter what it is."

"No I don't think that, I do however think that a lot of other people think they do and most atheists believe religious people do. So it warrants explaining."

"some people fabricate a deity, perhaps because of their inability to "feel" any spiritual connection with any higher power. i think a lot of people lie to themselves, a lot of important and powerful people at that."

"Meh, I've just chosen an ancient Batavi goddess to glue my belief-system too, by want of a goddess in physical form."

ONE MORE SECRET REVEALED

Ó0˜PRˆÃUöÃEœÖVGÃ1˚wPR[∞∞,/à‡{ç
™ˇ

A common death in our terrorist society

electroline, or electrelane

A short anecdote from a Portland free-paper just before the plague.

Leaving the prong in his side, Caleb greeted the pain with gusto. He had known of the pale-fish, the druid-scales, the glass bottles and fasteners, the Satanic altar on Asia Minor, and the invading Gauls. He often confused Gauls and Celts like he confused bok choi and cabbage. There is nothing he could ever succeed at that he hadn’t already tried. He never found an iPod he had lost years ago. His only dreams these days involved riding in a car that was about to crash.

On a Tuesday in October, he mailed a letter back to himself to see how long it would take for it to make the circuit in the post. It arrived 5 days later, but in a different envelope. He opened it and the contents were the same, but the envelope had a different shade of off-white. He left the country about 3 months later. He learned that the Gauls had invaded Asia Minor in the 2nd century B.C. and felt he had returned to a new beginning on life.

Later in the month, his new country of residence declared war on a nation harboring terrorists and he was deported. He died in a car crash in the taxi he was taking from the airport. His last meal was a pizza pretzel with an ice-tea.