02 November 2007

A common death in our terrorist society


electroline, or electrelane

A short anecdote from a Portland free-paper just before the plague.

Leaving the prong in his side, Caleb greeted the pain with gusto. He had known of the pale-fish, the druid-scales, the glass bottles and fasteners, the Satanic altar on Asia Minor, and the invading Gauls. He often confused Gauls and Celts like he confused bok choi and cabbage. There is nothing he could ever succeed at that he hadn’t already tried. He never found an iPod he had lost years ago. His only dreams these days involved riding in a car that was about to crash.

On a Tuesday in October, he mailed a letter back to himself to see how long it would take for it to make the circuit in the post. It arrived 5 days later, but in a different envelope. He opened it and the contents were the same, but the envelope had a different shade of off-white. He left the country about 3 months later. He learned that the Gauls had invaded Asia Minor in the 2nd century B.C. and felt he had returned to a new beginning on life.

Later in the month, his new country of residence declared war on a nation harboring terrorists and he was deported. He died in a car crash in the taxi he was taking from the airport. His last meal was a pizza pretzel with an ice-tea.

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