Rush Limbaugh (never a dull moment)

“You need to start advertising your own block as being autonomous and then you can get your own police force to ensure the peace is kept and the minorities are kept in check around your block. That way, you will be able to tax them even though they get second-rate treatment since they’ll be considered temporary citizens on your block. The ephemeral nature of it all means you can change any rules regarding ‘visitors’ to your block at will. This will deepen the bounds of your pockets and money will flow into it. Do some charity work and you can just let the mortgages pay themselves off. Find a fine bottle of 30 year old Laphroaig and sit in front of your tenement haranguing away about the good, honest natured Ron Paul. He will save you from monotony, to be sure.”

“You aren’t even registered to vote and you just had a seitan sandwich, which you paid over $7 for. Can you eat a brick of shit now or should I just start throwing old moldy bread at you now?”

“You should try reading the other times….I mean the Washington Times.”

“You should get a VD from a prostitute. Oh wait….you’re gonna represent a microcosm of the Republican Party, so yeah, you’ll have plenty of time for that.

Suffering from bouts of Asperger’s, the pseudo-neo-conservative trustee merely leaves the room and starts listening to Steve Vai in the confines of his studio apartment in the “bad” section of some small city in Connecticut. For about 2 weeks he would live on a steady regiment of cigarettes and black coffee before ending his fortnight binge, once his palpitations matched his ubiquitous nausea.