BEYE moar rekkids

Radical sales pitch overheard in a St. Marks record store:

"A tired boy of 25 founded an independent record label, called it Transient GNARD Head Records. The only band to be signed was called Pink Munkeyz and they released a 7" single and a CD EP. They never toured and have been disbanded now for over 12 months. TGH Records is still in operation, but they only sell records as imports to the Japanese/Asian market. There is little doubt that if you should come across either the single or the EP, pick it up. In about 50 years, when the band is re-re-re-discovered by a college radio station no one even listens to, the combined sale of the old 45 vinyl and CD EP should fetch at least four figures. The buyer will more than likely be unemployed, or have a dead-end job working retail or at a coffee house. The money that you or the inheritor of the Pink Munkeyz releases will earn will be essentially the coinage saved by shut-in, probably.

"I am telling you this because I am the CEO of TGH Records. I predict that when I sell my shares of the company to AOL/Time Warner within the next 20 years or so, they will release the Pink Munkeyz songs as a compilation CD that will be marketed to 18-25 year olds. Sales will be modest, but over time it will develop into something hyped by third-party Internet media companies and will constantly be sought for years thereafter.

"What you don't know is that Pink Munkeyz played stoner metal mixed with dubstep production. What you also don't know is that we're being recorded by a Pasadena PR firm contracted by AOL/Time Warner.

"So a final painfully obvious word to the scarcely wise: fork over the $22 and buy the 45 and the EP."