EQUIVOCAL

hey, you fuck.

1. Science has proven that the domestication of animals has resulted in a progressive erosion of their mental facilities. The domestication of humans has led to similar effects.

2. Your life is passing in front of you, you are getting old. You are going to die, and you're never going to be on television.

3a. Get drunk and have sex at 4 am on a Tuesday in the back of a running cop car while the pig's in the Chinese restaurant shaking poor Johnny Wong down for Chow Mein leftovers. Call in sick to work tomorrow.

3b. Stop being afraid of everything.

4. It has been structured so that we "need" money to survive. Most options for "earning" money involve us trading a large portion of our limited lives. Our "work" usually involves meaningless repetition that runs absolutely opposite to our human nature. Not only is our "work" boring, it is enforced with strict behavioral rules and the constant fear of being "fired". It has been rammed down our throats that this is a "reality", and that the benefits of this planned system outweigh the negatives. It is becoming increasingly clear that this may not be the case.

5. Being cool to people gives them hope. It gives you hope too. Help anyone who needs it and pay back every favor given to you in spades. Assholes are their own punishment.

6. This is my body. I'm the one who moves it around and I'm the one who makes it do amazing things. I will take full responsibility for the actions of this body. I will not be controlled by the body of another.

7. There is no priest, no politician, no boss, no cop, and no concerned citizen who will ever convince me that they are performing functions necessary to my continued existence. They do not matter, they only impede. There are no masters and there are no gods. There are only people who demand life, and people who demand control. Whose side are you on?

8. There is nothing sexy about mass production, hamburgers, or soda pop. American consumer 'culture' must continue to be ignored at home and worldwide. Yankee go home, and take yer shitty food with you.

9. Sex is awesome. So is a good burrito. So is a round of drinks with friends. So is reading. So is sleeping late. You shouldn't feel bad about constantly enjoying yourself. Misery loves company. So does boredom. Ignore the telephone.

10. Freedom is the only important thing, personal liberty the only pathway to dignity. Anything that stands in the way is the enemy, no matter what costume it wears. Stop being afraid of everything.

11. Nobody knows anything. Everyone is lying. Look out for each other.

12. Do Not Pet The Tiger. The Tiger is Sick.

13a. It is an easy power to ridicule everything with sarcasm and irony, anyone can do it. It's much harder to give things a chance and try to understand. As smart as you are, there is always something to learn, and, conversely, always something to unlearn. Stop being afraid of everything.

13b. Buy a gun.

13c. Lighten the fuck up.