mind rush

Letters to Horton:


Mr. Horton,

The mayhem you instigated last Saturday through your malarkey and twisted, intoxicated tongue is repulsive and a detriment to the mind-frame of the hosts I had planned on entertaining. The civilly demeanored friends, relatives and associates of the Rand-McNally Co. were horrified by your protrusiveness into the after-hours party I had planned for months ahead of time. You were beyond civil, beyond any recognition of a sewer-rat who had consumed vile corn liquor without an inkling of regard for any guest, let along another human being. You, Mr. Horton, failed to prove yourself a part of any society; self-ostracizing malcontents like yourself prove to me that some men can never achieve any inner-semblance of enlightenment.

I am hereby ordering a restraining order on you. I have had my own hired attorney sign the bottom of this statement, thereby notarizing this sealed state action against you. I can only hope this will serve as some sort of wake-up-call for you and your own psyche. I cannot promise I will refrain from further legal action against you. I pray you can walk away from this incident a bit wiser, though I sincerely doubt such realization will come your way. I will not hold you accountable for the gas you syphoned, none too stealthily, from one of the guests' cars parked towards the back of the parking area. If this statement should find you without delay, I can only hope that the gas you must have consumed in the process has caused any sort of damage to your esophagus lining. I wish many ulcers and lesions upon your inners. This is the end of our correspondences. Any reply to me from you will be ignored outright.

______________________________________Sir P.R.R. Mankaht