AND THEN THERE WAS 5

Oh what a night, what a show, what a debate.

The Republican GOP debate aired last night on MSNBC. If you expected a fairer debate than Fox news you were pleasantly surprised that all media seems to hurt more than your alcoholic stepfather. No, not the one who didn't go to AA. The one who did and got the 3rd chip and found out he not only hated you and your mother, but God, too. It made the belt feel a little more tragic.

Anyway, I hate to beat a dead whore (your mother) so, let's continue. It was clear that Romney is NBC's guy. Which isn't really the entire truth. Hillary is NBC's candidate thru representation of Romney. Does that make sense? Okay, when you go to the store to get shoes, you see Nike or Adidas. That's what they're doing here. It's more complex than that, but you don't really care to read the intricacies of politics and the media..do you? You fucking disgust me.

So anyway, It was obvious Romney was getting prompted on how to answer

Mccain was completely dumbed founded on how to answer anything...seeing as all the questions were about the economy.

Huckabee did a good job not saying anything of substance which seems to work when you're fat.
Oh, don't get me wrong. It doesn't help..but it doesn't hurt. Unlike the pack of Oreos he eats before every debate. Look at those teeth. Guh.

WHAT THE FUCK was up with those faces Rudy Guillani kept making? Are you a beaver? Are you the devil? WHAT? Creepy. Double Guh.

Ron, Ron, Ron. You only got 6 minutes to debate compared to most of the other candidate's 20+ minutes. You could have been more of a jerk and broken in at one point. My only real complaint was the question you asked Mccain. He was so confused about the answer that he completely sidestepped and started name dropping. The problem was...everyone at home was confused by the question, too. Why didn't you ask him about repealing the patriot act or why people insist on grouping terrorists/al quaida with Iraq when in fact we went about UN Sanctions..not terrorism at all? No, no, it's fine... I mean..maybe America isn't as dumb as I think and they were with you. Also, your suit looked a tad big on you..has Huck been stealing your cookies?

Memorable Quotes:

Shit...charging a man with murder in this place was like handing out speeding tickets in the Indy 500. I took the mission. What the hell else was I gonna do?

Soon they'll be breeding us like cattle! You've got to warn everyone and tell them! Soylent green is made of people! You've got to tell them! Soylent green is people!

They went with someone with more theme park experience. Damn, I woulda killed for that job.