MONDIAL / SODA TAX / CORN OF HORNS

husk:
i turned 30 this year
so I'm really wise now

rada:
i know
you made it

husk:
by age default
yes i made it
knowledge is fancy

rada:
you're at the plateau, where you can decide to jump off, to your ultimate demise, or, you can stay and be king of that prominence

husk:
bitch, I'm on a train called SURVIVAL EXPRESS
ain't king of shit

rada:
you mastering the theory of evolution

husk:
ain't mastering shit either

rada:
we don't even teach that shit here

husk:
Jesus Christ coloring books freak me out
I would always color THE LORD's eyes dark blue
homeboy's dead, y'know?
and i'd add blood on his hands all the time

rada:
word
1 <3

husk:
like the dude was constantly bleeding
Jesus is eating a burger
with napkins taped to his hands
'cuz he b bleeding
"Want some fries with that, Jesus?"
HELLLZ NO
Jesus self-lolz at "hellz"

rada:
that's my Jesus is you homeboy

husk:
at frat parties, people would always steal his crown of thorns
yo lemme wear dat
aw shiit s'full of blood

rada:
corn of horns

husk:
that old man in the cave at the end of Indiana Jones 3, guarding the Cup of Christ
he's been there a long time man

rada:
he been granted immortality, to live in a remote cave
sounds like a bitchin good time

husk:
yeah but, doesn't it suck?
couldn't you have given me immortality when I was, I dunno, 26 ?
why do I have to be forever old?

rada:
because the fineprint says so

husk:
screw that
I'd rather die than eternally complain about my hip
"Drink Coke, punch a deer"

rada:
geriatrics like to make live a huge pile of steaming suck

PREACHER SPOILER

husk: you never finished Preacher?
troll: i can only read books with pictures
troll: no, i dont think so. or maybe i did
husk: Jesse dies
troll: ok, well, i didnt.

ELoquence - SERIES FINALE

PREVIOUSLY ON ELOQUENCE | SANDRA'S DEAD | Markus may or may not have gone back home. Toilliver is forever locked. The place might still be; it is the mystery that lingers.

eloquence - SEASON PREMIERE

Markus wakes up in some place. Someone has been there before. Sandra was supposed to help him out but apparently she's been murdered. To be continued.

MY SH*T SMELLS BETTER THAN Y*R EAU DE PARFUM

MAKE ME BREAD! MAKE ME WINE! BODY AND BLOOD GOES DOWN FINE!

GIMME A LECTURE! GIMME DINNER! NO ONE WANTS TO BE A SINNER!

DISCIPLINE! DISCIPLINE! WE NEED SOME DISCIPLINE IN HERE!

SELL ME MEDS! SELL ME CANCER! DON'T WANT TO EAT THE CUCUMBER! MEAT AND FAT, ZOLOFT PIE! OH BOY! WE'LL ALL GO GET FOR FREE SOME CHEST X-RAYS!

HONEY! I'M MALIGNANT!



NO MORE MONEY! NO HOME! WHAT'S THE FUTURE? NO MORE SELFISH BORES!
AMERICA LACKS DISCIPLINE! WE NEED SOME DISCIPLINE IN HERE!

PROOF THAT THERE IS NO GOD / GROWING PAINS, SEASON 2

joebloggz: i just think its funny when people are like
joebloggz: dont be like the son of god. be the son of god
husk: i hate the idea that a God would have a son
husk: it makes God so normal
husk: so i fucked this chick
husk: with my God Cock
husk: and bitch is preggers
husk: we about to have us a fuckin' messiah
husk: shit
joebloggz: well its funny
joebloggz: if you read into the bible
joebloggz: it doesnt sound like he has a son
joebloggz: it sounds like its his human repersentation
joebloggz: of himself
joebloggz: and the holy spirit is an act of himself too
joebloggz: so its like kinda strange
joebloggz: that always confused me
joebloggz: i always read into it like
joebloggz: man
joebloggz: God thinks were dumb
joebloggz: and has to put this shit all simple to us
joebloggz: cause were not god
joebloggz: and we still dont get it
joebloggz: lol
joebloggz: @ humanity
husk: well it's the Bible, lawls at that for starters
joebloggz: i like the bible simply cause
joebloggz: its the one book ive read
husk: and God HAD to do it with a chick
joebloggz: where you cant read it from cover to cover
joebloggz: thats pretty funny, right?
husk: -- why would God create a "human miracle worker" when he created stuff like, say, THE UNIVERSE
husk: fuck that man, create us a fucking three-headed talking Dinosaur or something
joebloggz: he did
husk: I read comics
joebloggz: he created screech.
joebloggz: look at screech
husk: well that's proof that there is no God
joebloggz: and tell me god doesnt have a sense of humor
joebloggz: oh, its proof that if there is a god
joebloggz: the joke is on us
husk: nah I don't see the light
joebloggz: and its funny
husk: could be
joebloggz: like
husk: but it could've been a Dino-Screech
joebloggz: lol- you made vaginas
joebloggz: but std's too
joebloggz: if there was a dino screech
joebloggz: i wonder if we'd have reality tv
joebloggz: or reality would just be crazy eough to miss tv
husk: you've given me less to ponder
husk: HEY
husk: YOU BLOWIN' ???
husk: -- what?
husk: ON FACEBOOK, U BCAME A "FAN"
husk: < / J esus >

JOHN STAMOS "FULL HOUSE" CROSS PROMO VIDEO

joebloggz:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-ru6jGYBdA&feature=fvw
joebloggz: youre welcome
husk: there's no hope humans
joebloggz: i disagree
joebloggz: i see that and think there is hope
joebloggz: at least theyre not buying rims they cant afford
joebloggz: oops
joebloggz: too honest
husk: well, i figured:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7FtI3cmZ38
joebloggz: oh yeah
joebloggz: i forgot about this
joebloggz: they showed it on an episode of blossom once
joebloggz: and even as a kid
joebloggz: i remember thinkig
joebloggz: THATS CHEESY CROSS PROMO
husk: that era is fucked up
joebloggz: are they grunge?
joebloggz: lawls
husk: lol yeah i remember thinking that too
joebloggz: i like how hes wearing the same wardrobe from the show in his video
husk: they did the same thing in Full House
joebloggz: he also catches the football like a triple b
husk: he musta had lots of pussy back then though
joebloggz: oh man
joebloggz: can you imagine
joebloggz: he probalby just walked to disney land with screech
joebloggz: and cleaned house

CYNICAL

LET'S GET CYNICAL, CYNICAL
I WANNA GET CYNICAL
LET'S GO INTO CYNICAL
LET ME HEAR YOUR BODY DOUBT, YOUR BODY DOUBT
LET ME HEAR YOUR BODY DOUBT

I've been patient, I've been good / Tried to keep my hands on the table / It's gettin' hard this holdin' back / If you know what I mean -- handjob urge

Take this pound, trade it for porno

"Should God, our Lord above, truly be one of us, I would shun the admission into heaven, pass the pearly gates of St. Peter. We are a delusional, egoistic species (which means self-destructive) and I cannot fathom such a heaven to bring any brilliant relief as an alternative to the eternal suffering of a Hadean Inferno." -Benjamin Franklin

EQUIVOCAL POST #600 !!!

1=A - 18=R - 5=E

Don't cha

pussycat dolls: Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
husk: no, and I mean it's terribly presumptuous of you to think that you're hotter than my girlfriend. it makes you less attractive actually...
pussycat dolls: Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
husk: again, you have no clue what I'm into -- odds are she's freaky enough for me if she's my girlfriend/lover, you know? and from my experience, you might talk the talk but you probably don't walk the walk, know what I'm saying? girls that look like pornstars don't behave like pornstars...
pussycat dolls: Don't cha, Don't cha
husk: no, really no. and it's "Don't you"...
pussycat dolls: Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
husk: raw? as in, unkept? you don't shower or something? I'm not big on that, seriously...
pussycat dolls: Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
husk: I don't consider your attempt to initiate any sort of infidelity fun at all.
pussycat dolls: Don't cha, Don't cha
husk: No, I really don't like sluts. Sorry.

598

Quitting by 30 seems about right. On the arms and hands of people who walk parks at night; skin colored tattoos spell out "BE the crazy person lingering there alone in the dark". I used to take shortcuts through the woods at night fearing that some crazy motherfucker was hidding somewhere, waiting for prey. You have to be pretty insane to go wait at night in a barely used shortcut in the woods -- the odds simply don't favor it. I mean, is it not possible that the psycho in question was also fearing the presence of someone else lingering in the dark too? It was then that I would assume the role, not that I would've attacked anyone on my path but it gave me the confidence I needed to brave the dark alone. Oh juvenal naiveté. Either you victoriously cross the woods unharmed or you get horribly murdered by some psycho; "even though I'm being horribly murdered by some psycho in the woods, I was still right to be concerned". Better not to test the odds on that one, either way. He died proving a point. I have too much of an ego, I could never pull that off. I'd have to bask in the aftermath of my "right-ness". You can't do that when you're dead (so we suppose). Is there a douchebag afterlife? BRO I GOTS TOTALLY FRAKING DEAD SKATEBOARDING THROUGH A WALL OF AIDS COVERED FIRE SPIKES, I TOTALLY TOLD YOU I'D DIE LOLZ. LET'S GO FUCK A PRINGLES CAN. Extreme Gatorade. Looking super great. Hang in there. Where? There, where you're hanging. Keep on hanging where you're hanging. Fuck why can't you just help me up? Hang in there, bro. In what? In there. Why aren't there any floors there? Where the fuck do you go where you simply hang in there? Hell, obviously. Hang in there, looking super great.

These legs have fangs

It seems I'll never escape the drafts. I don't want to fight that cold feeling that creeps to me while I do my business in the morning, and I tend to plot revenge in such horrid conditions.

On whom do you plot revenge?

You take me literally? I bet you haven't even figured out what "drafts" alludes to: a tortured soul left to rot in the savannah. No, drama aside, it's all about canker sores.

Are you sure it isn't really about your cankles and how they are cold in the morning?

Question me all you want, you'll never receive a correct response. In fact, abide by that Ancient Greek, you-know-who: "Question everything. Learn someth—

...something. Answer nothing." Oh yes, I remember you quoting me that last week. "Euripides pants, Eupaiaferdes pants," my response every time. Oh! we are creatures of habit!

I have to shit, Mr. Immaculate Bastard. And I hate you as much as this drafty apartment. Kindly grow mute while I do my business. Let me refer you to this baseball bat, held tightly in my grip, and my uppercut swing.

pause

You don't own a baseball bat, and you cry at any sight of blood.

....

I despise every mitochondria of every cell in your body.

Not every cell in my body contains mitochondria

FART